random ramblings wrap-up - today: wth do we do with this or the stuff that hides behind the back fence


Yes, that's a tree crushing a truck.

Yes, this is my backyard.

Yes, there is a bucket loader (I think it's a bucket loader) in our backyard with a tree on top of it.

The bucket loader, is of course a non-running bucket loader and so cannot be used to push off the tree ... of course.

There is a very heavy tire rim (I think it's a tire rim) at the base of this tree. I do not know if hubs set that there in an effort to keep that tree from falling or if it was just a random drop off point for the rim.

(hubs drops truck parts and yes, sometimes even actual trucks, the way other men drop socks - this is the real secret behind my lockets, folks)

The hurricane took 4 trees - one landed on the pool - which we removed - the only thing left of the pool are a few metal posts (because metal is valuable, or so I am told ... although it still sits there) and hundreds of pounds of sand.

There are a couple trees Chris was nice enough to cut up with a chainsaw and of course, the tree on the truck or Mr. Fibbets as I have taken to calling it. And then there is Mrs. Fibbets, another tree that looks about ready to crush our side porch, although hubs has assured me the situation is not as dire as it appears.

Most of the wood has been carted off as firewood - we throw a few pieces in the front yard every week and it disappears. We are down to branches (which are heavier than they appear), a broken storage shed (which I did not have the heart to photograph) and of course Mr. and Mrs. Fibbets.

Now, I am not posting this to brag (I know you are all thinking about the many things you could do if only you had a broken down, rusted out, bucket loader in your backyard) or complain (because obviously a whole hell of a lot of people had it way, way worse than we did from this storm), but simply report on what is happening here.

Months ago I got a price from a tree service of $2500 (insurance doesn't pay for tree removal unless the tree hits something insured) to remove these last 2 trees and chip the wood.

Hubs, who has lots of tree removal customers, thinks he can get it done for half price (this is his thinking with ... everything) - the problem of course is that his customers are out working with people they can get $2500 from and we are low on their list of priorities. So, here we sit, 7 months after Sandy, waiting ... I am not so good at waiting. George shrugs it off.

And not knowing if we are leaving or staying, which changes what we are going to do out there - is slowing everything down, too.

I get sad when I go out back, like I am walking through a forgotten, over-grown cemetery and really, really miss my time out there; hubs goes straight to his garden and can totally block out the dead trees and chaos (must be a man focus thing).

This weekend I am going to shovel the 33' circle of sand into a pile. I'm thinking I'll make a giant Zen garden somewhere out here ...  a little memorial to the trees.

(or maybe a bocce court - trees like bocce, too, from what I hear)

No aha moments yet out here - other than the obvious connection between this mess hidden behind the back fence (no doubt if this had all happened in the front yard we would have cleaned it up long ago) and all the other things we hide from the eyes of others and most importantly try to hide from ourselves that come up sooner or later to be dealt with.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone - the weather is supposed to be great here, I hope it is wonderful where you are, too! xo

random ramblings week - today: when things look too good or am I really sitting around waiting for my flowers to wilt ....



Three times in the last week someone has asked where we bought our hanging baskets.

One, an old man quite unsteady on skinny legs, talked to hubs and was given incorrect information. Ugh. I felt awful - I mean I realize he wasn't asking about something important, but still I wish he would stop back.

Now, I usually plant these baskets myself with a little of this and a little of that with moss liners, but this year I decided to buy the baskets already in bloom. They have just gone crazy out there. We must have just the perfect amount of sun and the perfect amount of water - something must be just perfect for these baskets, but ...

here is the thing with all of this 'perfectness' - I find myself totally unsettled with it.

Every morning I open the front door expecting to see flowers all over the porch floor and naked plants greeting me with brazen leers (who's your daddy now) - little springtime versions of that Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

Maybe this is because these baskets have been through crazy temperature fluctuations and they could be thinking "It must be August by now, time to croak off" - one day it is 90 degrees and the next it is 40 - the cold temps the other night made me sympathize with every Eggo waffle I'd ever abandoned in the back of my freezer. 

Maybe it is because the color seems lighter than when I first put them up. I'm not sure.

But it is another little aha moment for me - yes, I'm having a lot of them lately - because I am wondering why something that is going good is so hard for me to appreciate - why I am determined to look down the road toward some kind of problem around the bend - why I am spending my time waiting for the other shoe petal to drop.

I am thinking I might do this with other things in my life. I am thinking it is time to stop doing this.